She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He felt like a one man threesome
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
