so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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