my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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