I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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