there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
