Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Randomize
