Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
