38 yer olds are good kisserssss
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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