I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
worst night to have a conscience
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I want a musical about memes.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
