babies were throwing up all over the place
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
