So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
this hospital has no fireball
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize