I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
