i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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