he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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