highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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