So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
