guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
