he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
