Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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