OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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