you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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