The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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