I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
