I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
