its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize