Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
