every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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