he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
