So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
