you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
