This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
