It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
