we're chasing vodka with high fives
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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