Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
