Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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