Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
