a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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