when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Come on in and take your pants off
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