Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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