every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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