I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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