one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
