Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
