Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
