Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
