yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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