brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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