This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
BRING THE BAGELS
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
