You really coming over, don't trick.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
