Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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