so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
