if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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