I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
