Me too!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
