so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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