I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just saw a hot homeless man
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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