oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
