"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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