I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
