I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You need Xanax blowdarts
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
