my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
