first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We have so much sex to catch up on
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
